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Sixteen Candles It’s your birthday and the cars are a rainbow on wheels, again The couches are covered in plastic, there are ashtrays in hospitals The Polo Grounds, the Polo Grounds “how could they ever?” the Polo Grounds It’s your birthday, and Mom is here, and Leo, Eddie, beautiful Eddie Stanky And Mom is here (we said that already) Sixteen candles his song, their song on his birthday cake And that other one Until the Twelfth of Never On her gravestone. |
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2016-07-05 22:16:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
The reference to another point in time was very effective pull in to your poem - When you lived in those times you never forget - yet then I hesitated with your fourth verse; and re-read the entire piece which is written in simple terms which you normally veer away from - and I imagine it's a tribute - and a good one at that - speaking of enduring love etched on her gravestone -
Very good write,
Deni