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When the Tear Becomes a Diamond I have seen the turn to dust of Ozymandias the grime of patina upon Grecian urn A face ten thousand times in beseech when walls fell, people would not burn I know how temples have no keeping that what's inside pales to the sword That blood has no color until seeping and what comes next comes toward undone Fallen tear hardened to diamond in hopes it would not come again |
Additional Notes:
The madness of war has only one enemy, the undying hope (diamond) to will peace.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Marcia L McCaslin On Date: 2014-10-06 13:24:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I have gone back to this piece and back to it again and I get something 'new' from it each time. One of the things that surprised me, and is uncommon is your rhyme with toward and sword--a great rhyme that you don't often see, if you ask me. But then you had more to say, so "undone" comes afterward on a line of its own. I think this is (a) very creative and (b) a little avant garde, which is fun. I think the fallen tear hardened to diamond in HOPES is a good concept to build your poem around; I also think it could be applied to many situations where tears do fall. Thank you for posting.