This Poem was Submitted By: Terry L Krieg On Date: 2014-04-27 12:28:13 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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I have found
I have found
This happening called age
Has been exceptional for this
Consciousness called me
Though altogether out of place
For this flesh the me dwells in.
Blink and sunsets turn the page.
Aches and niggling pains so
Quickly to arrive
While deep inside bits of wisdom
Scrabble to emerge past countless
Moments too trivial to deserve
A second glance
Proudly grasping at these hard won
Shards of wisdom, earned with sweat and pain
The me in me
Sings with victory
And waves them taunting
In the face of age.
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Copyright © April 2014 Terry L Krieg
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2014-04-29 14:25:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I felt compelled to comment on your excellent poem, Terry, partly because I identify with it so much. It might use more formal verse than free verse since that would enhance the effect of ditty, but I like it just as well. Rather my suggestions are just about limited to substituting scramble for "scrabble" and, in the same line, the verb form of "past", passed. Very enjoyable. JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2014-04-27 15:31:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Its very nice to come across a poem that speaks well of ageing. That it is not all doom and gloom. Lines 11,12 and
really stand out for me. Excellent work through out.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2014-04-27 15:11:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hello Terry, to begin with I had to look up “niggling”, now a wonderful new word in my lexicon mind!
I think there is in this verse, what any older will understand. That it contains you, I think is a bonus, it could just as well stand without being individualized.
I also like the “second glance”. It is all that keeps one sane. It is also the cause of midlife crisis when interpreted incorrectly.
Do you mean “scramble” instead of “scrabble”? I guess I could place a word game into life, and the puzzle portion works as well- just asking.
Taunting in the face of age. Now there is a scene to see.
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