This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2014-04-23 14:39:07 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!
Come to Camden Baggage set on curbs
delighted in hurry
Placed apart in carriage
noted by some tag
Like might have been
on some graying toe
In passing the transit
procession blurry view
Hampered window watch
and distorted time so soon
The cradle of rhythm a
cacophony of sorts
Louder in stopping
than when it starts
The waving at station
cheery like opening bud
Lapsing dreary time
that change be kind
in abrupt
And I like on some manifest
stepped out
Like on some stage
My foot upon the ground
as if to test
Had I gone east or west
|
|
Copyright © April 2014 James C. Horak
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2014-04-26 11:49:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Excellent poem. I don't travel a lot but when I have so much of what you speak about I have experienced but would have never thought to put to words. Bravo
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2014-04-24 20:25:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I like this JC. Just don't take a trip to Camden, NJ - I'd fear for your life -
Great imagery of travels via trains which I always found to be a more exciting way to travel than any other-although jumping cars was tricky -
This is very entrancing and I have no nits - it is written in a charmed pleasurable way easy to comprehend with a tough of humor at the end.
Kudos - on a very good poem.
blessings,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2014-04-24 10:12:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
JCH,
You were in Camden? Not far from me.
I just love the idea of our names on some "manifest." Wonderful. Or perhaps it is only your name on this "manifest." You certainly are a unique individual, and I wouldn't be surprised if there are some lists out there with only your name and perhaps some others who are bound on a more exclusive and restrictive trip. :)
MSS
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link
Click HERE to
return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!