This Poem was Submitted By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2013-09-04 17:24:43 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Mellow Soul I love pines
that smile in verdant forests
and how mountains
hug their breath
quiet tracks
of cloven hooves
campfires when
green sticks hiss
and sputters of waltzing
drops of rain
where elusive
breezes skip
like vanilla ribbons
clouds stretch tight
across an indifferent sky
too soon aspen leaves
begin to fade
while winter
waits in corridors
with gusty winds
it is a mellow
soul that understands
nature’s innocence
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Copyright © September 2013 cheyenne smyth
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2013-09-27 14:22:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
As always cheyenne you never cease to please with such visual writing. The last stanza is just so perfect to end a beautiful poem. Thank you
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2013-09-26 14:04:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
A telling with the same sensuality so many of your excellent poems have. "how mountains hug their breath" is spectacular while the simile, "like vanilla ribbons" continuing into the illusion, "clouds stretch tight" is grand. I now have two poems that drive me for the voting power to do justice. JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2013-09-25 19:50:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I love this Cheyenne because your imagery is done so well. Particularly when you say " how mountains
hug their breath" - very original and poetic words.
You've managed to open my eyes with "like vanilla ribbons clouds stretch tight across an indifferent sky" because of the truth in the words that you've softly penned in to this poem.
Very mellow poem; a relaxing read that pulls the reader in and allows them to feel the words and see them transpire in vivid clarity.
Well done,
blessings,
Deni
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