This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2008-07-19 19:09:48 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!
In Summary The design consist
Of coming with promise, leave taking with dignity
All life passes through the system
Execution of the plan
Brings forth its rationale to viewpoint
Existence arrives, then blooms
Spring, summer, fall, lastly winter
The days play out from the center
And we flourish
Living as many sunshine days
As sun’s star has solar rays
And not more
Comes the day to fade and recede
Leaving some to cry and grieve
Till then
|
|
Copyright © July 2008 Dellena Rovito
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2008-08-05 22:53:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Dellena,
An interesting flow through circle of life...Aptly titled summary,the piece flows smooth (as smooth and discreet as the entrance and exit of life)..a nice philosophical touch adds to the lure of the piece...I did not get 'sun's star'...it did not work for me even though it sounds interesting.
Always a pleasure to read your philosophical offerings !!
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2008-08-03 14:40:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I really liked the line:
Existence arrives, then blooms
Thanks for a good read
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lynda G Smith On Date: 2008-07-31 12:05:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I very much like the triplet treatment of your poem Dellena. Like life which has a beginning a middle and an end, you have explored the timeline with a dignified treatment of your theme.The sounds and rhymes are important and yet subtle. I also enjoyed the contrast of ending to each stanza, making them a focal point.
I have always been consumed by time and its passage. So the theme hits home for me. You show your active participation in your depth of understanding - you are not simply an observer as some people are.The fact that it is an ongoing process lives in the verb tenses. Very well thought out.
I will come back to this.
Lynda
This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2008-07-28 15:12:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Initially, a very left brained (to this reader) opening stanzas melting by the last line of the second into the brightness of the middle described. The point of the seasons illustrated very nicely through the detachment then growth and feeling type words. And felt through the choice of words, finally fading into sadness again with a silent end lilting.
Well done and described, and has a nicer subtext and feel to it that really carries the words themselves into feeling. Well done, poet.
Om,
Regis
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2008-07-27 22:36:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dellena,
Very inspiring piece of poetry. You've covered a lot of ground, with your expressive thoughts, wisdom and
insight to life and it's perplexities. This was an enjoyable read, smoothe flowing and even in meter.
Particularly favorite line in this poem, which hits close to home with me is:
Comes the day to fade and recede
Leaving some to cry and grieve
Beautifully stated........
Best of luck with this one.
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2008-07-19 23:16:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
A mature and highly poignant poem, Dellena, clearly your best.
I hesitate to praise it, knowing the spite that reigns here abouts.
The lines have an almost tactile interworking with internal rhyme
and meter count. Very effective when adding to meaning as do yours.
The short ending lines in the last three verses are effective as
well. When this is done the emphasis falls back on what lies before
in the same way would a refrain.
The last verse is my favorite and one that carries the success of
the poem to a fine finale'.
I won't hesitate to vote for this wonderful poem.
JCH
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link
Click HERE to
return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!