This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2007-03-13 23:11:48 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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another Janis Fan Bobby Magee?
Oh yeah, I slept with him back in '63.
Or was it '68?
Can't seem to get that year straight.
Heartbreaker? No, too dumb to break my heart
Or even Take a piece of it -
It was Summertime, and I was Down on me.
Just looking for fun and then Maybe,
He'd take me for a ride in his Mercedes Benz
And show me off to all of his cool friends
We partied some then went walking through the rain
But Bobby wasn't looking for any Ball and Chain.
We didn't Try, or cry or want to go crazy, so we ended
the fling with a
Bye Bye Baby.
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Copyright © March 2007 DeniMari Z.
Additional Notes:
Janis Joplin month? I'm in, for the fun of it. Thanks for taking me back to my youth.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2007-03-22 13:28:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Yes I remember those years too! This is an awesome tribute to this great American icon. Where would we have gone in the 60's without such influences ? I like the way you have used the song titles to tell your story. That's cool! From the beginning to the end, I like it. You have used rhythm and rhyme just right. I really like this. Good work poet! Ellen
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2007-03-14 12:14:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
A nice use of her song titles, DeniMari. Interesting you focus more on,
"Bobby Magee", you must have found like accord in someone you knew. Janis
struck "soul assonance" with me a few times but she never made her male
fans (like me) feel ostracized. Though I often heard comments about her
"unattractiveness" she had some real lasting beauty to me.
Well, you did hit on my favorite song, Take a Piece of My Heart, and she
did...to this day.
You have a little bit of Janis there inside, it's peeking around the edges
of this poem.
Well constructed, sensitive lyrics appropriate even to song. I may have
done the same for the old Bob Dylan, but he had nothing on Janis. Nobody
did.
Hope we keep up the Janis Month theme. I'm already hunting old albums and
trying to find a new magnetic cartridge for an old dusty turntable.
JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-03-14 05:44:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Being in for the fun of it certainly got your pen swirling with a fine presentation .....nice style, once more the words present images, details of the fun of summertime with rides in the Mercedes, walks in the rain, no ball and chain seekers ..........bringing us all back in time, allowing our own memories to filter through and in my case put a smile on my face......and joy in my heart. Thanks again for taking the time to share your gift with us. Be safe, take care, God Bless, Claire
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