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Snow Bat There she is waiting for me pasting wings on angels. Measuring everything with the precision of an Exacto knife Cutting out paper dolls from the fabric of her thoughts and linking them together hand in hand in a parade of better people she has yet to meet, yet knows they’re out there somewhere. Their tribal smoke signals looking for her too. Visible perhaps over the next horizon just one more horizon. Snow Bat is a friend of mine a devil angel with no disguise. A wolf with a doe’s eyes. She is a Rubrics cube solved instantly with just the right kiss within a safe cracker's embrace. Snow Bat is lace without the need of pretty. A flower that only requests the rain. She is a hieroglyphic poem left over from ancient times that one day will be read perfectly. That day will come as surly as the sun. When she discovers the lover who can pull the sword from the stone |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2013-03-03 10:12:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Joe,
Wow, most engrossing and lending to a multitude of thoughts and suppositions. I thouroughly enjoyed your choice of verbiage and the ease of your choice of placement. However, I am a bit confused as to your intended meaning in 1S L2: were you meaning = pasting which is a distructive action or pasteing which is a constructive action? You have many ying/yang type statements; therefore left me with the unsurity of your actual meaning. Next, in your last stanza 2L you left out the "e" in surely. These small things did not impede my reading nor the enjoyment of your work. Thank you for posting this delightful poem. Best always, Lora