This Poem was Submitted By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-01-18 15:54:56 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Sonnet Writing A sonnet must be penned with lovely words
it’s not about the broken blades of night,
unlike the Raven carks that Poe records
or waves of gray that rip and drown the light.
A little song that waits for silent love
then blooms among the lilac buds and branch
and never shards of hail that slay the dove.
I’ll pen a poem of turbid clouds that blanch
when fairies dance their dance on heathered rafts
I’ll pay my dues, a rhyme I’ll not forsake.
So cark, oh Raven, cark then float on drafts,
forget the hapless prey you clutch and take.
My pen and ink will write a poem and limn
across the page composing colored rhyme.
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Copyright © January 2010 cheyenne smyth
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2010-01-26 22:24:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Cheyenne, this dances right along taking the reader within and enveloping the reader in a delicious cocoon of multi colored facets, sounds that live and the fresh rush of delectible verse. Your count is spot on, rhymes and meter are graceful and inviting. Well done. no nits or spags. Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2010-01-24 17:05:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Cheyenne,
Very nice colored rhyme! A rhyme to see and feel.
Although you write for good feelings and sweet emotion, the unlovely words have their purpose
also, depending... I believe in uplifting others but at times we must also face a different reality.
I enjoyed your poem. especially; A little song that waits for silent love
then blooms among the lilac buds and branch etc.
You do well writing.
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2010-01-22 20:01:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Cheyenne
I think you're a bit like me: you like exercising in public.
Here you're doing an aerobics class. Great form, perfect rhythm. But no meat. Whereas...
..."A Different Path" is literally bulging with muscle.
All of which means that, for this little critiquer, the day you combine the muscle of "Path" with the technique of "Sonnet Writing", I'll become your love-slave.
And I'll do it in public, too.
Best wishes
Mark.
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2010-01-18 17:21:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90000
This poem is enhanced by its use of Middle English as few are. Another happy note
so much often "coloring" the sonnet. Hope I'm not what metaphor given the Raven.
But if so, I've well earned it in the eyes of classicists.
And yes indeed, you're on the way to earning the opinion...can't fault you there
either. (I never quibble with justice.)
But please don't give up the other effort either...you'll be good at it.
And now I must find balm to help heal hurt feelings.
And what am I to do for dinner?
JCH
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