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Green Grass it drapes green, surrounds the countryside, oh! the smell of green, stirs emotions inside I thought they were friends, Thought i knew them well, somewhere, a monster, green was leading them to hell Green! also colours envy, sight of which breaks my heart, deadliest of the sins,I feel for it poisons,without reason, every part It comes from the knowledge, they realize is untrue, yet believe they do, it's ecstatic feeding the green goo The monster in green, I have felt the disease too, forgiveness while you still can, is the only cure!! |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mick Fraser On Date: 2004-01-23 20:26:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.69231
Hello Siddarth
Wow! Powerful writing. I feel I am too green to write such a wonderful transitional poem that starts with one soft pleasing vision of a perfect spring day and gradually turns to the contrasting violent personal struggle. I loved "feeding the green goo"....quite descriptive. There is a message in your work too, that their is only one way to overcome the disease that takes us away with it's nastiness.
I wouldn't change a word...I think that this is very well written....I am happy to see you write this and I am not green with envy.
Mick