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I Awake (revised) I awake, Warm and sheltered Tangled in the sheets… and you. Sweet breath’s feathers cross my skin Still damp With passion’s dew. I awake, From soothing dreams Cocooned in your embrace. No thought to leave this heaven of Bodies entwined In one small space. I awake, Sated… nestled Your hand upon my breast – divine! Saturated with your scent. Wondering Which legs are mine. I awake, With sultry smile Remembering short hours past. Moans – sighs – spent thighs Understanding Dawns at last. I awake, To your caress Fire stirring – no lust can slake. I have slept through life ere now But with your love… I awake. |
Additional Notes:
I made a big change in the layout of this poem. If you read or critiqued the original version (not hidden) please let me know which you think is better. Unfortunately I lost the critiques (done on this site) for the original and I wasn’t impressed with the ones I received on another site. But since some of those were somewhat critical; if you don’t care for this poem please tell me why and what didn’t work for you. One of the comments I had was that “the piece couldn’t make up its mind what its normative meter is supposed to be.” (the revision was done after that) Thank you for your time.
Patti
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