This Poem was Submitted By: kevin Dunn On Date: 2015-11-09 17:07:12 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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EXCUSE ME SIR.

Excuse me Sir I could not help but wonder at your words You have no friends I heard you say and ne'er a gift has come your way for no one cares that you should live and not a soul has loved you Sir, I ask you would you grant me just a moment of your time to hear of friends you have today and all the gifts they've sent your way How they cared that you should live and every one has loved you For every soldier who has died upon the battlefield bequeathed to you to his future there a lasting gift beyond compare He cared so much that you should live he loved with all he had to give Excuse me Sir I could not help but wonder at your words.

Copyright © November 2015 kevin Dunn


This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2015-11-18 18:39:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Kevin amazing- A huge wake up call for anyone feeling despair,forgotten or misused - I would hope you look to publish this poem - because it is that good - With few words you have shown us who did care enough to lay down their lives so that we could live really live, not live vicariously through others either - for our own selves - On my list and not a bit to pick at - blessings, Deni


This Poem was Critiqued By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2015-11-12 23:20:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
So beautiful I want to cry actually cry. My Dad was a vet as was my mother. I have never thought about it the way you presented in tonight. Bravo in the bravest word I can say
This Poem was Critiqued By: Wanda S. Thibodeaux On Date: 2015-11-11 14:46:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
This is beautiful, Kevin. Your meaning so real. How true it is that we don't think of these things when we are feeling sorry for ourselves. I'm as guilty as the next...but oh, if we stopped to think and feel there would be lots of wondering going on. A truly lovely write, with careful attention to the heart and its' needs. God bless our soldiers! Great piece!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2015-11-11 13:35:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
kevin- a splendid juxtaposition of the void for the “cloud of witnesses” if you will. Seeing the beginning, I was not surprised by the ending; there were few places you could go with it, but you did a good job of selling the goods, and the repeat of “Excuse me sir, I could not help but wonder at your words” makes the animus of the piece not only tactile, but also something that places the reader into the presence of the point- and a apportioned to it, as it were. It is a great veteran’s day piece. Such images are too rare.
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