To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!
4:00 a.m. "what does the world do with a failure?" there are inner and outer voices, and between them you sit, your soul like a head at a tennis match, and some of the voices sound like umpires, your parents, your wife's, those temporarily wearing sports coats 'cause you need to be told something and the honest voices, the Nastases cursing, gesturing wildly, hitting balls into the crowd, giving the middle finger, undomesticate, and the crowd spitting back, in sports coats, "this is why he's a failure, despite all that talent" or the voice that speaks softly, on its knees, reciting the 23rd psalm, holding a rosary, looking up at the night sky or the voice that rises above the suffering, the failure, the voice that wakes up at 4:00 a.m. like the smoke rising from a fire, and turns it all into something beautiful which keeps rising, rising, rising, becoming clear again, and easy, finally at home, among the stars. |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2014-07-06 09:30:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Poor Ilie, always catching hell for his histrionics! I wish I had a clearer view of the quantum finality of living. I appreciated the analogy of smoke rising / pope / becoming spirit like in dying, but I am never sure of anything spiritual aside from the scientific faith of faith itself.
As for failing. Hah! Look at me here! Nevertheless; I remember (23rd psall notwithstanding) failures or not. I am far more liable to indict the diety on suffering, at least I know “I wouldn’t do it this way”, but mostly;
Your piece allows for comforting. Success, (which seldom really is), or failure (which seldom really isn’t the whole story), I appreciate the touch of the soul that your piece allows. I can’t really say (other than Nastase), what the point is, aside from the abstract, nor why a sports coat façade is even in the piece, other than the point of living life in a series of outward facades hiding the inward turmoil, but it made me glad to have read it.