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She Takes A Bubble Bath She prepares a bubble bath with the primeval goo of existence She pours this into her tub the planet of this beginning She runs the water just slightly hot Creation’s lush rain falls Bubbles begin their evolution When every thing is perfect both in temperament of the planet and the proper volume of bubbles achieved the creator joins with her creation The bubbles surround her enveloping her warmly Some exploding softly because they can no longer contain their joy of actually touching the creator She lies back on the cushion of these beings Understanding the scope of her tub planet and the life within Closing her eyes she senses the consciousness of bubbles |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2014-02-01 10:49:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Critique:
Well, with the assumption that the entire piece is not a metaphor for God, creation, Sin, Redemption, or the condition of the Sociological state of some country- assuming that; I can appreciate the gentle convergence of bath time, “she”, creation and both the indemnity and the coalescence that comes from the union.
I also will keep this clean, because it might just have well been about somebody’s daughter, as it might an older woman requiring a more thorough description of the act.
As for the synthesis of the moment- it was a fine analysis of the creator and creation; and the adding of anthropomorphic sentiment to the bubbles is the finishing touch on an enjoyable bath time.