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Anew How does it begin How does anything begin but with an ending of something old abandoned, forgot. Like favored shoes of long ago. or neglected stuffies that once or twice held you through the darkest night Ryhmes of childhood spoken to the beat of a skipping rope no longerer remembered no longer spoke It is to this that I bequeath my darkest sadness Yet onto to this alter heave my greatest hope There can be newness in death when the old words finally run out of breath |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2013-03-03 09:53:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hello Joe,
I found this an easy and enjoyable read with good flow that moves your reader through your verses smoothly.
The content of your lines leads the reader to pause and reflect on their meaning and possibly make a personal connection with your thoughts. One small suggestion:
Ryhmes of childhood
spoken to the beat of
a skipping rope (you might consider changing this to "skip a rope" more in line with your style)
no longerer remembered (remove the secone "er" from the word "longer")
no longer spoke
Again, most enjoyable, thank you for sharing. Lora