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the Gift of Poetry I am a POET I write of the living today and share history with the world in the most nostolgic way surety for the journey into tomorrow lay aside my petty sorrows In the garden of my rocks I find a gem and rub and polish another reason to write I am a POET. Flowers are not forgotten even as they disappear scents of time are savored realized and lived again and again "for there is nothing lovely as a tree" unless you've never seen one. Time will not be forgotten as long as there are poets and those who read them For those who sow and reap will always need to be watered rebirth and growth I am a POET. |
Additional Notes:
do I have ~style~creativity~freshness~ have I used good word choices ~ rhythm or rhyme~ have I carried my idea through ~ have I kept on topic ~ am I too wordy or over extended ~ have I left too many open ends?
Did I force my lines to rhyme ~
thanks
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark D. Kilburn On Date: 2012-08-01 18:43:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Let me start with a few very minor suggestions that may or may not make sense to you. 1.Line six, I like sorrow a lot more than sorrows. 2.Line eight, and rub and polish, how about to or I rub and polish just eliminating an and. 3.fifth line from the bottom and those who read them, perhaps for those or all those instead of and. I like the opening rhyme alot, from there the rhyming isn't quite as strong but that's okay and didn't bother me at all. I also like the way you used the stolen and cliche lovely as a tree, I thought that was very nice and well done. Overall I found it to be a very pleasent read of a very well written poem.
The only other minor suggestion is to maybe split into a couple three four verses instead of the long continual verse.
These are all very small things that may improve the read or may not, overall message is well done. mk