This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2009-12-16 23:19:57 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Unseen Obvious Nothing compels the unwise to wisdom
caring, touching, given the wine imprecise
upon the floor
Days thinning to age, nights mindful to
but memory dusted off by vibrant
passings of youth...irreverent
The riches brought to litmus
turning pale
I brought to know solace
the only kindness
left
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Copyright © December 2009 James C. Horak
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2009-12-31 15:26:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
Hello JCH,
This is a powerful and soulful poem which I found myself reading several times. Your line, "days thinning to age" is remarkable and leaves this reader a bit sad. We all age, some do it with grace and others are dragged into it kicking and screaming. I like the brevity of this piece, you wrote just enough to be thought provoking and did not let it drag on and on. I can't offer anything that should be altered. Well done.
cheyenne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2009-12-27 16:38:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
James,
Wisdom flows in this piece.
I do believe there is still much to learn, not just comfort as the only solace.
Growing older is a challenge but growing 'in love' is continual.
I mean the unselfish Godly love without end.
And that is always betterment and growth.
I'm not meaning this as preachy but as another way to know we arn't done till we are done.
Just your presence can make a difference in this world un-be-kowing to you.
Today is a new day.....
dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2009-12-17 16:08:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Chills, chills! Your last verse gives me shivers, as I know that that truth is shared much the world over. I stumbled around in the first verse; lack of foreknowledge left me not knowing where to 'punctuate' if you will.
Nothing compels the unwise to wisdom
caring, touching, given the wine imprecise
upon the floor
my example: is it 'nothing-ness' that compels, or is it that wisdom has lost touch with caring, etc...again, a perfect example of my lack of knowing. Others may find the answer quickly and with total understanding. I have concluded that the wine, imprecise on the floor represents that the 'poring out' of wisdom fell unheeded.
I hope that I am at least close to your truth, my friend. Your writings always leave me in contemplation of some inner knowing which I have lost. I thank you for sharing this, and the new opportunity to examine wisdom.
Shine On!!
Ellen
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