This Poem was Submitted By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2004-11-10 16:17:17 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Solitude Entering into the fog
creating the sense of distraction
a span of time is halted
within the mind
Wind brushes the senses
reaping its reward
thoughts are only on the moment
not of the past
Cold shocks the nervous system
briefly, for a moment
the mind drifts
into a frozen state, numbing a reflection
Suns warmth stimulates the soul
radiating its effects on the body
the face gleams
feeling appeased
Rain soaks the body
it adjusts to the cleansing
renewed by its effects
upon the flesh
These are the seconds
that clears the mind
of anguished thoughts
and trials
Cherished time, yet limited
Rewards of thoughts, not seen
Voice speaks, without sound
Comforting the person within…
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Copyright © November 2004 Thomas H. Smihula
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-12-04 20:08:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Tom,
Glad to see you posting again. You've been missed!
Solitude is good for the soul, isn't it?
Good imagry in these lines as I can see and feel the fog, wind, cold, warmth and rain all
taking their turn to effect the mind and body and soul with their equally healing
effects.
There is euphony in this piece that radiates outward with sounds like:
Entering into
sense of distraction
time/mind
reaping/reward
thoughts/shocks
moment/frozen
suns/stimulate/soul
feeling appeased
effects upon the flesh
thoughts/not
without sound
just to name a few that I really enjoy.
Thanks for blessing us with one of your poems, Tom.
I'm so glad to have the opportunity to read this one and
have enjoyed reading it over and over.
Hope your Holiday season is everything you wish it to be.
My best,
Jennifer
This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2004-12-03 08:42:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Thomas! Long time, no read; it's great to see you here. This is a lovely, metaphysical piece with many levels of meaning. It's a joy to explore each of these. Here's my personal "take" on the message, although it isn't the only possible interpretation.
We're all flying solo, in many senses, but your title shows the positive aspect of this and not the negative, which would be "isolation". You acknowledge that inner companion who remains our closest ally throughout life. This poem would be very useful to read immediately before a period of meditation. It's centered in the present and allows the reader to understand how one can release the crowding concerns of past actions and future anxieties. Yes, "a span of time is halted/within the mind" and to the Higher Self, time is nonexistent.
Wind brushes the senses
reaping its reward
thoughts are only on the moment
not of the past
Cold shocks the nervous system
briefly, for a moment
the mind drifts
into a frozen state, numbing a reflection
I get an image of the speaker sitting beside an outdoor pool, when it's chilly and invigorating but not really uncomfortable. Thus, he has conscious awareness of physical conditions, but is also insulated from them. He's in a state of being rather than doing. The sensation of cold keeps him from forgetting that he is, still, a human in a mortal body, rather than a spirit without flesh. Yet the mind's "frozen state" offers rest and peace. The numbing of its reflection removes the usual self-inspection that we all tend to overdo. We must first accept and love what we are before we can extend this acceptance to others.
Sun[']s warmth stimulates the soul
radiating its effects on the body
the face gleams
feeling appeased
"Appeased" sounds a lot like "a-peaced". The speaker can relax because he is warm within. Sun and rain suggest the balance of opposing principles, yin-yang, awakening and purifying, energizing and calming. The idea of "cleansing" refers as much to this inner harmony, as to the rain on the skin. This is metaphorical rather than literal weather, I think.
These are the seconds
that clear(s) the mind
of anguished thoughts
and trials
The speaker seems to have adjusted his psychic harmony; it feels like a chakra adjustment, perhaps. Those anguished thoughts may exist mentally but are not spiritually imprinted, and can be released if one is open to letting go. They are experiences that teach us to endure and overcome, then they serve no further purpose and we must leave them behind.
Cherished time, yet limited
Rewards of thoughts, not seen
Voice speaks, without sound
Comforting the person within…
The voiceless counselor or Wisest Self is unfailing. Through this element, we attune to the greater consciousness and can link to the universe of which we're a part. Those who are comfortless are also the ones who have become separated from this universal awareness - which many call God, by one of His many names. If we fail to recognize the existence of the inner divinity, we can never truly approach it or become one with it.
I very much appreciate the philosophy that is at work here. Nobody can discount the immense value of quiet contemplation, and attunement with self. This is a poem to be read carefully and savored for its gentle reminders of who, and what, we really are - creatures of inner sight as well as outer covering.
All the Best,
Brenda
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2004-11-28 15:39:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Hi Thomas,
How are you?
I like the ideas of the elements adding a dimension to our lives. which they
most certainly do. And are appreciated in this writing.
They help us in;
thinking, reflecting, calming, washing clean, and clearing of our minds.
so we can go on. Having been comforted. [Indeed]
The person within/the soul.....
Nice peaceful reassuring poem, much needed in these days of strife.
Thanks for sharing.
Nice job Thomas,
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Robert Wyma On Date: 2004-11-20 17:16:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
A spiritual journey marked by the clamp of time. So much cast to the wind in haste, only to wantonly be sought later in life. We are in a sense self made prisoners, until we seek our freedom. This poem captures for me the very deep need to create open space in our lives. So often we go from event to event filling our lives with the next ten things on the list. The true self lives outside of time and only by getting quiet can we stop the clock and go home. Good to read your thoughts again Thomas. I hope all is well.
Robert
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2004-11-13 13:24:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Thomas, I assume that the fog is a metaphor to entering solitude, after all the distractions of the world. That is slowly embraced as the outside is slowly walled behind. My reason is that I meditate and the “distraction” of entering the solitude of my mind is often the greater of all distractions. My mind desires other.
“thoughts are only on the moment” - this is a very intuitive line. No matter the type of meditation, unless you wish your mind to race, it is important that you concentrate on only this moment.
You speak of “cold” shocking the system, then “the mind drifts”, which for one seeking the quite and serenity of solitude would be as if cold water was splashed on the face.
Rain soaks the body
it adjusts to the cleansing
renewed by its effects
upon the flesh
At first I though this is a curious choice of words, particularly since you speak of the flesh and not the mind. Flesh, however, has a dualistic meaning, and although there is physical reaction to a renewed soul, there is also a rejuvenation to the “flesh” that is, this existence here.
“The voices speak within, without sound, comforting the person within”
I find great value in this piece, in this Solitude. There is metaphors within each stanza, and a larger metaphor for life and death itself, but the value of this in interpreting “inner needs”, and meditation is remarkable.
This is a well written piece whose form matches its message. Thank you for sharing.
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-11-12 15:37:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Thomas,
The thoughts our mind embraces when we are alone...or even in the presence of another
our mind can still wander and we are really alone. These moments can be very cleansing
for the soul and the mind as well as restful. You have written some profound statements
a few of my favorite are....a span of time is halted....wind brushes the senses (love this
one)...a frozen state, numbing reflection..warmth stimulates the soul (yes it does..whether
it comes from the sun or love of another) voice speaks without sound, comforting the
person within...There have been times in my life when I was so deep in thought that when I
shook myself awake from my thoughts I was surprised at where I was...hopefully that won't
happen when driving a car! This is a compelling piece and one that leaves the reader
with a sense of calm...thanks for posting his one.
Peace....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-11-10 17:25:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
being alone can often be a cleansing experience, I know I need it from time to time to reinvigorate the mind and senses so your poem captures the way I think of solitude, well done I think.
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